The youngest of eight years was sitting before me, pinching the tips of his fingers and anxious that action alternated scratching his head. I offered to ask me what I wanted, was to establish a link honesties. His question was if I could get a gun "like those used by assassins." He wanted to go to practice, convinced that once he had enough force could go in search of his father, the aggressor who tried to kill his mother.
Tito has no response to the violence she experienced and witnessed from birth until the age that considers itself an "older child is ready and not sissy because he knows defense." For him, being queer is the closest thing to be like her mother, that is, from his view of women is weak child, submissive, silly, because it "allowed" to keep her husband received death threats and psychological abuse that exceeds a to shock. And although the small confesses that he loves and will always protect his deepest fear, almost described as terror, is to become something like the woman who gave him life, he sought affection and food, that cute by telling stories nights to drive away the fear of noise of the door when the father returned at night.
With just eight years, Tito is convinced that being human is necessarily to be violent and you have to get power at all costs because, in his words, "this world is not for sissies," a phrase he heard in a movie to which his father took him. It all killed, he says, and the only way to stay alive, he concludes, is knowing that you can kill your enemy.
Draw on a white sheet. Choose black crayon and poured everything is chaotic, report, press the handle to hold the instrument used to vent, I wonder what you draw. Without looking, responds to anything. I look at him in silence, in broad daylight pours his night formless anger known name, but not pain or fear. Because he, like thousands of abused children have learned by dint of abuse and bad examples of male heroes being a man is hard, hard to bear that have to be strong, to deny the pain and emotions and build mental tools denial that allow them to survive into adulthood.
Being a man for these little means to spend his life running from the weakness of the emotions that they connect from his eyes and his life experience as female. They love their mother for being sweet and caring, hate it for being weak and not like a man. Gynexin Scam Admire and love their father because he is the provider and accompanies them in rituals like watching football, I hate to exercise violence of various kinds, make them feel insecure and abandoned.
Sheltered in shelters in the state, "home filters" DIF in hospices of all kinds, the little men receiving therapy, but rarely are given the tools to look at, understand and build a non-violent masculinity. Masculinity is not abusive, abuse of power, gender. And they learn to admire men who abuse that violate the women around them, who pay for sex as a ritual of power in which they are subjects and objects.
Children love deeply contradictory and incomprehensible to the main actor of his nightmares. To which may be their only role model.
They love the parents who abandoned emotionally or physically and are always looking for arguments that culture and society make it easy to justify them. Because he was a widower, because I did not work, because alcohol is harmful, because they make you angry and violence is always the fault of others. All around, or almost everything, from movies, cartoons and social discourse conspires to convince kids that the only way to survive a world of abusive, corrupt, violent, is submitting to the cult of masculinity. As if only I had that world.
Almost all the world youth gangs have initiation rites of rape; rites of masculinity that have nothing to do with sex and much to the abuse of power and domination of women's bodies. Thousands join gangs in the hope of being allowed to escape the world of the weak, the world of vulnerability.
Just look at the thousands of young soldiers returning from war with immense trauma, forced, as the journalist Gloria Steinem, to use violence against their will, of what his conscience dictates, but do so because they are sorted general. And so does most powerful bullies schools after exercising psychological violence incite the weakest in the chain to hurt others.
Millions of children are children, not knowing that there is another way of being that man is not that to be accepted into the world of men, you have to humiliate, beat, abuse, corrupt and lying. A world that hipersexualiza venerate their genitals cut off from their emotions and erotic love, and as a result, they hipersexualizan women as objects rather than subjects of their desire.
These children deserve more than a hospice, but only away from the perpetrators deserve therapies egalitarian perspective of masculinity. They deserve the chance to make them see how they are constructed gender roles unfair that some serve and others eat, when some parrandean and other care for infants, where some are subjects and other objects. Steinem says that in the more egalitarian gender roles, ie what is "feminine" and what is "masculine" are not polarized, but flowing.
So public policies with a gender perspective not work, because it is believed that gender is female. And yes, working with women and girls is essential, but if it flows parallel to that of boys and men, equality will never come. Tito should have known since childhood that can be a poet, writer or dancer (rather than be hit man) that no matter what career you choose will certainly be a unique human being simply born in a man's body, and that be man can be a wonderful experience, full of joy, affection, ability to create personal and social harmony. Need other everyday heroes, men congruent to donate part of his spare time, as do thousands of women to break the vicious cycle of gender violence.